Dis soms net so bleddie eina…

Jy weet wat ek bedoel.

Daar is tye wat iets net so swaar en seer op my hart rus, maar woorde is min. Ek kyk om my rond en alles is mooi. Alles gaan goed. Hoekom sien ek net nag?

Ek wil mens wees. Heel, gelukkig en sonder vrees. Tog dobber die demone van gister saggies maar tergend op die agtergrond rond. Ek kan hulle ruik. Hulle lag vir my. Hulle spot my oor my lyding.

Kom kyk, nog een het geval…..

Hoor jy my dan nie?

Ek sê hello, ek glimlag en grap.

My masker is groot, en net baie, baie selde gaan jy die hartseer ogies daaragter sien.  Hoekom is dit so moeilik om mens te wees? Hoekom moet juis ek, wat diep bloei, dinge die ergste voel?

Laat dit einde kry, ek het genoeg gesien. Ek smeek Jou, vat dit weg.  Gee my om hemels naam net ‘n bietjie rus.

Mag ek kwaad wees vir God? Ek is klaar kwaad vir myself. By wie se deur lê ek die blaam?

Net my eie…

….soos altyd, net voor my eie.

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26 Responses to “Dis soms net so bleddie eina…”


  1. 1 Sonkind Januarie 4, 2010 om 10:02 nm

    (((Flints))) – ‘n lekker drukkie vir jou.

  2. 3 Dellie Januarie 4, 2010 om 11:57 nm

    “My masker is groot …”

    Stilbly is ook ‘n antwoord né? 😉

  3. 5 demoerin Januarie 5, 2010 om 7:44 vm

    Ons is almal maar net mense. Seerkry, hartseer, vrees ens. is maar net deel van die lewe want ons is nie klippe nie. Hoe seg hulle – wat nie dood maak nie, maak groot. Die mens is egter sterker en meer veerkragtig as wat ons onself krediet voor wil gee. Vasbyt, nou-nou het die son daardie wolke weggebrand.

  4. 9 BB Januarie 5, 2010 om 7:57 vm

    Sometimes anger and hurt can be calmed and soothed by quieting down. When we keep talking and thinking we seem to get into a neverending argument/reasoning with ourselves, running around in circles and not getting to a satisfactory answer – the kind that will bring us the peace we so desperately search for. Ironically, as soon as we think we have a certain explanation for a feeling, an emotion, an opinion or a concern (which in most cases is very personal or self-centred (not to be mistaken with egoism!!) – we don’t 😕 the “what if’s”, the “hows” and “whys” are the earthly man inside – the one who needs proof and justification; the one that will not be content until he feels that there really IS an answer – a logical explanation or solution.
    Do you know why we Christians talk and think and mull too much over certain things? I think it’s because maybe we are still really not altogether confident of God’s Love and Acceptance of who we are.
    Do you know what it feels like if you have to attend a lecture or opening speech for a ceremony and the speaker/lecturer keeps talking *yawn* repeating *yawn* elaborating *yawn* and seems not to get to the point and you don’t see the end of the tunnel so to speak when this guy will eventually PLEASE just shut-up???
    It’s the same way with yourself – except now, there is no audience – you talk and talk and talk (that’s the physical man – the intellect talking). And the spiritual man? JipJip! He’s yawning! He’s tired! He’s had it! All he wants is for the intellect to PLEASE shut-up and and be still for a moment and realize this: Your peace, your true peace and harmony is found there – in the spirit. The one that does not reason or fight or challenge himself or his worth or significance, by any other means but the confidence that he is loved and accepted just the way he is.
    Go read Jeremiah 20 Flint – I love his outspoken honesty regarding how miserable he feels his life is.
    His prayer in chapter 20 comforts me because it shows me that I can be completely honest with God. I don’t have to pretend that all is fine and cool and great just because I am saved. God is big enough to handle my most sulky and bitter complaints and His love for me is so great that my cursing and swearing can’t and won’t separate me from it.
    Let the God you know be your strength, your peace, your hope, and your glory – these are not things you will find within yourself. You will find them in God’s presence in your life. In God’s whispers of love which wash over you and refresh you when you take time-out and let the intellect rest a while. When you lie down flat on your stomach on the carpet or the lawn, shut your eyes (and your mouth) for a moment and just let go… and let God.
    You will find them in God’s faithfulness to keep the promises you have received through scripture and through the Holy Spirit. In the midst of your suffering, God is with you – closer to you than you are to yourself and God’s concern for you is even greater than your anxiety for yourself. In the midst of your suffering as a result of your faithfulness to God, there truly is no better place for you to be.
    Also in Jeremiah, is one of thé most comforting passages found in all of scripture: “For I know the plans that I have for you … plans for welfare and not for calamity – to give you a future and a hope.”
    Hoekom moet juis jy, dinge die ergste voel, vra jy…
    You are capable to cry at the sight of a beautiful sunset? To weep for a stranger? To sob over the dead body of a animal next to the road? Aren’t you? Dear Flint, praise God for that sensitive heart of yours! It may just be a gift and not a burden – for a man connected with his spiritual man more than his intellect can be instrumental in being the evidence of God’s love and acceptance regardless our faults and offences to others around you who have yet to learn and appreciate and grasp and accept His Mercy and Grace. Who else might He use for that purpose, Flint? Hm? Who?
    As jy weer voel om te vra: “Why me?” – vra bietjie “Why not me?” or “If not me, Who?”…
    Be Blessed, Flint!

  5. 14 Girl van die Suburbs Januarie 5, 2010 om 10:46 vm

    Ai Flintie…. Ek weet nie eintlik wat om te se nie. Sterkte hoor! x x x

  6. 16 meermin Januarie 5, 2010 om 1:50 nm

    Die lewe is soms een elle lange marteling, die seer word so diep in mens se hart ingegrafeer dat niks dit ooit weer sal kan uitwis nie, pyn, seer, trane, verwerping, MAAR

  7. 17 meermin Januarie 5, 2010 om 1:53 nm

    nee man ek was nog besig …. Maar ek het geleer om met die seer saam te lewe, MAAR dinge gaan hierdie jaar vir my ook gebeur, my beurt om ook geluk te vind, gelukkig te wees!!

    So paar mense na aan my weet dat ek op Nuwe Jaar ‘n hand vol pille gesluk het, omdat ek nie meer wou nie, MAAR iemand uit my verlede wat al ‘n engel is, het voor my verskyn, en die pille het nie gewerk nie!!

    EK HET DAN NOU SO BAIE OM VOOR DANKBAAR TE WEES, EK LEEF, GOD HET MY LIEF, MY KINDERS HET MY LIEF EN NODIG, dit is nog nie my tyd om te groet nie!!

  8. 18 flintstoned Januarie 5, 2010 om 2:18 nm

    Meermin, ek sit hier en lees die comment oor en oor. Ek weet nie wat om te sê behalwe dat ek bly is jy is nog met ons nie.

    Dis regtig jammer dat jy deur so ‘n ongelooflike hartseer tyd moes gaan.

    Volgende keer as jy so hartseer is dat jy nie uitweg sien nie, laat iemand weet asseblief. Ons het nog so baie om oor te gesels.

    Sterkte en baie Liefde van my af vriendin. Staan sterk!

  9. 19 meermin Januarie 5, 2010 om 2:25 nm

    Flin dankie GOD wou nie gehad het dat dit moes gebeur nie, gooi my gerus ‘n mail dan chat ons … FB ook!!

  10. 21 Dellie Januarie 5, 2010 om 4:49 nm

    Het ek iets gemis??? Miskien moet ek refresh … :mrgreen:

    Ek gaan jou nogsteeds stalk 😆

  11. 24 Krista Januarie 5, 2010 om 7:46 nm

    Moet asb nie verdwyn as jy dit kan verhelp nie – jou views is regtig vars en funny & informative.

    Ek lees vrek lekker aan jou blog . . .

  12. 25 Antie Koekie Januarie 5, 2010 om 10:41 nm

    Hi Kersiepit! Jou favourite Antie is ok nog in die omtrek. Modem het Saterdag-oggend die gees gegee; moes wag tot gister om dit te vervang en toe het ons die hele aand donderweer, kon dus nie op connect.
    My ding, soos Krista sê, jy moenie verdwyn!
    Ek vrek oor jou posts en jy is regtig ‘n vars briesie.
    As jy jou hele lewe @ alles kon veg oor jou voorkeure, en bly staan het, hoekom sal jy nou laat die ding jou onderkry?
    Nee, Kersiepit, jy’s mos nie ‘n pissie nie!(Askies vir daai een!)
    Ons wil nog al jou stories hoor. Die marakas is mos nou agter die rug—— los dit nou.
    Onthou: Shit happens! En dan’s dit klaar en verby.

  13. 26 lindzie Januarie 6, 2010 om 12:39 nm

    Hoe kry jy dit reg om mense se minds te lees?

    Ek love jou blog!!!! Nogsteeds…….


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