1. You wear the appropriate underwear for each of your dates.
2. You understand the subtle differences between at least 20 brands of vodka.
3. You understand the immense importance of good (or bad) lighting.
4. You can be in a crowded bar and still spot a toupee from 50 yards away.
5. You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit and mean her bathing suit.
6. You can tell a woman she has lipstick on her teeth without embarrassing her.
7. No one expects you to kiss and not tell.
8. You can have naked pictures of men you know in your home.
9. You can have naked pictures of men you don’t know in your home.
10. You can have naked pictures of men you don’t know in your home and on your computer.
11. Unlike your women friends, you can hang out in men’s locker room.
12. You understand why the good Lord created spandex.
13. You understand why the good Lord did not intend everyone to wear spandex.
14. You know the difference between a latte, cappuccino, cafe au lait and a macchiato. And if you don’t, you know how to fake it.
15. You know how to get back at just about everyone.
16. Your pets always have great names.
17. Nobody expects you to change a tire.
18. You’re the only guy who gets to do the “Cosmo” quizzes.
19. You know how to get a waiter’s attention.
20. You only wear polyester when you mean to.
21. At any given instant, you can recite who was gay since the dawn of history.
22. You are, hands down, your nephew’s and nieces’ favorite uncle.
23. You get to choose your family.
24. You can tell your sexual compatibility with a potential partner by the way he holds his drink.
25. You can smile to let someone know you can’t stand them.
26. You wouldn’t be caught dead in Hooters.
27. You can freeze an approaching bar troll twenty feet away.
28. You’re good pals with women other people can’t stand.—- So true!!!
29. You’ve always got an opinion, and don’t mind sharing it.
30. You’ve read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.
31. You know how to “air kiss”.
32. You know exactly which cosmetic surgery to consider having… and the perfect excuse to give 33. people who ask where you’ve been for two weeks.
34. You know how to dress strategically.
35. You know when to move out and move on.
36. You are the only one at the class reunion who looks better than you did in high school.
37. You’ve got at least one framed picture of a pet.
38. You know that being called a “cheap slut” isn’t necessarily an insult.
39. You wouldn’t buy someone a mug for their birthday.
40. You know which wine to bring.
41. Sales clerks don’t mess with you.
42. You have a medicine chest stocked for any occasion.
43. You never hold a grudge for longer than a decade.
44. You’ve just about defeated the accent you were born with.
45. You know the way to a man’s heart is not necessarily through his stomach.
46. You choose the most fabulous greeting cards.
47. You know every film ever made with male frontal nudity.
48. You’ve got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
49. You have the latest International Male catalog.
50. You wouldn’t dream of dressing out of the latest International Male catalog.
51. You can be bitchy without anyone blaming it on biology.

8 Responses to “You know you’re gay when…”


  1. 1 Antie Koekie Desember 29, 2009 om 10:54 vm

    Ai, Kersiepit, jou Favourite Antie val uit die bus uit op al 51 redes, behalwe 37. Nr.36 is so waar, maar so onregverdig!!!

  2. 2 boervrou Desember 29, 2009 om 9:50 nm

    36.You are the only one at the class reunion who looks better than you did in high school.Dit weet ek! Na 3 kids was ons 10jaar reunie. Ek het ok gelyk in vergelyking met van die ander wat nie eers kids gehad het nie. Maar die gay oukie.. was GREAT! Kyk die baas het nie omgegee dat hy saam ons dans nie, en hy het(soos ‘n vriendin dit gestel het)sy onderhuisie gegooi soos geeen straight man kan nie! OOOeee en hyt blokkies op sy maag!

  3. 4 Nikita Januarie 11, 2010 om 12:30 nm

    Ek het lank terug saam met ‘n gay outjie gewerk, hy was moerse snaaks…jy laat my aan hom dink. ‘n Vriendin van my – nou vir lankal al in NZ – haar man is ‘n tandarts en hy het ‘n spul gay vriende op Tuks gehad en sy was eendag na ‘n gay party,,,sjis…ek het die foto’s gesien, STUNNING se moses!!

    • 5 Nikita Januarie 11, 2010 om 12:32 nm

      O ja, ek het saam met ‘n gay onnie hier in London skoolgehou – 2007 – hy’s nogal getroud (hy’s brits) met ‘n SA-ner (kleurling)…ek was uitgenooi, maar was dodelik siek en kon nie gaan nie, maar foto’s gesien – net so stunning. Hy was net so vet pret, maar jy sou hom nooit as gay sien as jy hom sien nie, ek mis die ou nogal geweldig.

      • 6 flintstoned Januarie 11, 2010 om 1:04 nm

        Ek het net gister my Britse vriend lughawe toe gevat. Arme man stuur vanoggend n sms om te sê hy vrek van die koue.

        Ps: Ek het hom nou al mooi leer vloek in Afrikaans :mrgreen:

        • 7 Nikita Januarie 11, 2010 om 1:16 nm

          lol! Kinders vir wie my man skoolhou – by ‘n vorige rowwe skool (hy’s ook onnie)het al vir hom gevra na Afrikaanse vloekwoorde wat hulle vir hul maats kan gebruik. Dan se hy vir hulle…”ek het jou lief”…dan hol hulle agter daardie stoutgatte aan en skree vir hulle…”ek het jou lief” (dan dink hulle hulle vloek hul pelle)…dan skater hy soos hy lag – en vertel hul dan agterna wat hul eintlik gese het..(hahaha! ek het so gelag!)

        • 8 Nikita Januarie 11, 2010 om 1:17 nm

          Sorry, wou nog se, ja, dis BIBberend koud hier! Ek’s tuis, my skool is oop, maar paaie is glad – gevries – ongelukke! op strepe – jy moenie eers na die RAC se website kyk nie, dis ‘n nagmerrie van ongelukke


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Ek is ‘n Afrikaner man, ek is gay, en ek is 29 jaar oud. Ek skryf die blog, om uiting te gee aan my taal en my kultuur, ten spyte van die feit dat baie mense dink n gay man is minder man. Ek is lief vir my land, my mense, my taal en ons kos. Ek is lief vir my God. Ek glo ek is wie ek is as gevolg van die oorloë van my voorvaders. My kultuur het my identiteit gevorm. Braaivleis is in my bloed, en ek kan net waarlik gelukkig wees onder die Afrika son.
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